The Inevitable Welcome Post
Welcome to the Organ Grinder’s Monkey. Basically, this is a blog about marketing and how to use it as a tool to change the world, whatever that means to you. Here are the basic (tree)house rules:
1. This is my blog. I’m the alpha monkey here. What I say goes. If you can’t deal with that, please take your banana and go home. But do feel free to come back once you can play nicely.
2. That said, do make yourself at home. The internet’s a big jungle and I look forward to hanging around with anyone who cares to drop by and add to the mix. Chattering, hooting, hollering, shaking large branches and mutual grooming are encouraged. However, public displays of aggression, chest-beating and other such primate nonsense will be tolerated only in so far as they serve to further the conversation. Once they veer from that course into pointless noise, they will be dealt with as I see fit. Appeals may be made, but in any event please refer to Rule #1. And please, don’t poke the obelisk. Just don’t do it. You know what happened last time…
3. There will be absolutely no flinging of poo. Poo flingers will be met with stony silence and a loss of commenting privileges. And I am sooo not cleaning that up.
4. The serving of spam is considered to be a subset of poo flinging, and will be treated likewise. This includes “hidden spam” like pimping your stuff in the comments (unless a special pimp thread is announced) or hijacking threads for your own nefarious plans for world spamination.
5. On the topic of topics, this blog is primarily about marketing 2.0, the web, the global market, the conversation economy and how to use these concepts and others like them to change the world in your own special way. However, I may include other tangential topics as I see fit, especially when I think they’re really cool. Just trust me. It’ll be fun. Got something somewhat off topic, but that you think will interest or benefit my readers? Let me know!
6. Warning: Some mature content. Sometimes I rant. Sometimes I cuss. Sometimes I even rant and cuss at the same time. And sometimes I’ll talk about adult topics, using adult terminology. Just so you know.
7. This is a commercial blog in the sense that the topics herein are are a subset of the stuff I do for a living, and I eventually intend this blog to contribute to that effort. Ergo, yes, you will see affiliate links, product reviews leading to sales pages, ads, self-pimpage and other activities that could potentially lead to me making money. I will do my utmost to remain fair and impartial about such things as product reviews and I will never knowingly or intentionally direct my readers to crap just to make a quick buck. But if the crass commercialization of the precious and delicate art of channeling the muse bothers you…for crying out loud, get a grip already. A gal’s gotta eat, and I can’t maintain my girlish figure on bananas and monkey-chow alone. Refer to Rule #1.
8. The request line is open. I welcome anyone who has anything even halfway cogent to say on the topics presented herein to do so. The more the merrier. And if you want to contribute your own material to the blog, please let me know and we’ll see if it works out. Look around, kick the tires and let me know what you think. See something you don’t understand? Drop me a line. Don’t see something you need? Same thing goes. Disagree with something? By all means, share your point of view. (Behave, but don’t feel you have to pussy-foot around. Monkeys love a rollicking debate.) Heard about something you want me to explain, explore or expound on? Well, for God’s sake, don’t just stand there on the doorstep waving at me - make yourself at home and jump right in. This blog’s going to get real old real quick if it’s just me in here by myself inhaling the dizzying aromas of my own emanations.
9. Don’t forget to tip the monkey when you leave. After all, we don’t work for peanuts, you know. That’s elephants.
Dance, monkey! Dance!
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